I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
