Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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