No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
