the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
