Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
