i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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