1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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