? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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