That's intense
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
