Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize