Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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