what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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