I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
