Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
