On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
