Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
