with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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