Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
