First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
