Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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