she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
