marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize