weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
