i think my tv is drunk
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
