She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
there is glitter all over my balls
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize