i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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