do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
