I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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