Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
