dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
