no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
