I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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