did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
