I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
