dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
