I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
