absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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