so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
