I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
