some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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