you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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