I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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