Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
