Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize