what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
