Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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