So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
