So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize