He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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