He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
