A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
