He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
