Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
