Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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