he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
