That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
