apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
my sisters under your porch take her home
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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