I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
