dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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