guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
