Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
