16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize