I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
