he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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